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| | Difficulty: 1 | | Learning Curve: 1 | Published by:  CrazyBare | | Date: 2008-03-06 |
| | Gameplay |    | 1
| | Graphics | | 2
| | Sound | | 4
| | Value | | 1
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Turok is one of those games you play if you think Stephen Stegal is a good actor or if you believe W.W.F wrestling is real.
Horrible voice acting, over used one-liners and idiotic script is just the start of this Cave-Man Kills Big Dino game.
 First of all the game starts out with hardly any sense of background. Your thrown into this story with no real idea of who you are, why you are where you are and worst of all why you would bother helping anyone other than yourself. I guess you could pretend that you have are getting paid to play the game so you will feel the effort is worth it.
From the first few minutes you gather you're a bad dude,in a dark gritty future, being sent to a bad place with a few bad men and are going to do some bad things.
A few things happen and suddenly your on this different planet after your ship is forced to land in a flaming ball of fire.
After everything you have seen up to this point (Having to be named Turok, being sent to another planet to do God knows what, surviving a crash from a ship traveling at mach 20, getting laughed at by your toothless-tattoo-baring pals) seeing dinosaurs would not rate on my "Ok this is Odd" list, but your part-time fungus eater, part-time smack-talking anti-Native American 'friend' seems to think that seeing a few dinos is the weirdest thing he has seen since canned bread.
After some witty remarks about your race, hairstyle and name from cell-mate buddy he decides that he knows exactly where to go on this place he has never been and you must follow (being such a scripted game he of course will wait until doomsday for you to hit the next checkpoint before he talks, moves or a un-random event happens).
Throw in some confusing fight scenes against some dinos who materialize out of nowhere (so you can learn to fight like a Judo master) you see a huge burning wreck (your previous transportation) in the distance. It takes buddy boy ten more minutes to tell you he sees the wreckage and that you guys should for some reason head back that way.
Personally, if I just got a free "get out of burning fire in hell free" ticket I sure wouldn't be heading back to where I just came from. But, I must follow the script here people.
After some gruesome discoveries we learn that not all name-calling-tattoo-clad guys are evil because you and your buddy decide to seek vengeance on some unknown corporate goons who killed your other prison shower pals (How we know it was the bad guys and not the huge dinosaurs roaming all over the place or the actual crash is never explained).
You suddenly become a one man army capable of sneaking up on and knifing soldiers wearing full body armor, so much tech gear they heard you coming from 2 planets away and enough firepower to kill every creature on the planet, twice. Maybe it's your hairdo. Maybe it's because you ARE, Tur o k...
After some 40 minutes into the "story mode" of this game I decided I would be better entertained watching Gerbils poop in a cage and decided to see if the multiplayer was a saving grace.
Sad to say is I met up with people who do think W.W.F wresting is real and think Bush Jr. has a 3 digit IQ. If people weren't hitting me with an arrow from 1000 yards, then they were super stabbing me into an epileptic seizure.
How can you take any game seriously when you have to put 45 bullets into a man before he hits the ground yet you can bunny-hop up to him and stab him once and he is done?
I won't waste anymore of your time explaining all the details and just sum it up fast.
Pros: It has dinosaurs and a weapon that doesn't shoot lasers.
Cons: Racial comments, school-yard mentality, bad acting, idiotic story, boring Been-There-Done-That multiplayer, dark muddy graphics (I think the developer's crayon box had mostly green and dark green), confusing plot, unpredictable kills, unrealistic weapon stats, linear cookie-cutter maps, scripted gameplay, scripted AI, scripted scripts.
Final Say: Stay away from this game if you like a realistic story or gameplay. Due to the over kill on the greenish dark it will hurt your eyeballs.
I give it a point or two, and that is only for the humor value of the complete seriousness that people try to put on this game. I actually overheard a guy at the local GameStop call the dino fights "Epic".
Puuuleeaasseee.
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