Joined: Jun 27, 2007 Posts: 1135 Location: Melbourne, Australia XP: 57,060
Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 9:13 am Post subject: What Joke Made You Laugh Today?
Here are a few jokes that made me laugh.
My wife reckons she can tell how good a film is by how many tissues she goes through when watching it.
Funnily enough, I have a similar system.
The police phoned paddy to inform him of his house been burgled. They also told him that the burglars had drank all of his beer and raped his wife. Paddy says i can’t believe they shagged the Mrs after only 4 cans.
Went for a Chinese last night and got chatting to the waiter. He told me he was a kamikaze pilot during the War and his code name was Chowmein.... I said "Correct me if i'm wrong, but didn't kamikaze pilots sacrifice their lives for your country?" To which he replied "Ha, but I was Chicken Chowmein!" _________________________________________________________ Opinions are like arse holes, everybody has one and your's stinks.
X_Splinter Moderator
Joined: Jul 03, 2004 Posts: 2385 Location: Portugal XP: 368,740
Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 10:51 am Post subject:
The joke that made me laugh was perform by... whats the name of that guy? Obama yes... he said they catch bin Laden, made a DNA test in time record (I wounder to what they compare the sample) but they trow the body to the sea so you will never see any evidence they catch him _________________________________________________________
Increment 360-HQ Newbie
Joined: Jun 12, 2011 Posts: 1 Location: Stockholm XP: 400
Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:32 am Post subject:
Div Moderator
Joined: Jun 27, 2007 Posts: 1135 Location: Melbourne, Australia XP: 57,060
Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 11:02 pm Post subject:
Bit lame, but got a little chuckle:
A German guy approaches a lady of the night.
'I vish to buy sex viz you.'
'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge £20 an hour.'
'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'
'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces
four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.'
The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the
springs as he had said, to her hands and knees.
'Now you vill get on your hans und knees.'
She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.
'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'
She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless and the guy is paying.
She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over
the room by the energetic German, all the time honking
on the duck caller.
The climax is the most sensational that she has ever
experienced and it is several minutes before she has
enough breath to say,
'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position?'
'Ah,' says the German . .
'zat is ze.... Four-sprung Duck technique' _________________________________________________________ Opinions are like arse holes, everybody has one and your's stinks.
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